humor

A seat at the table

Standard

‘Did you always sit in the same place at dinner?’

When I was a kid, my Dad had “his” place at the dinner table — and god help you if you sat in it. It was at the head, of course.

I honestly can’t recall where “my” place was — and I definitely don’t remember how our places were originally allotted — but I do know that each and every one of us five kids had a designated spot at the Henry dinner table.

Dad, at the head of the table, dispensing treats to Hermie and Roger. Roger had a “place;” Hermie didn’t. Unless it was under the table

Was this just a Midwestern Thing? Or a Midcentury Modern Thing? Do families still do this?

Dude Man and I had “our” places at our circa-1984 newlywed table

Even though my own personal nuclear family had just three members — Dude Man, me and The Child — we each had “our” spot at dinner. Our dining table was a rather large drop-leaf model. Our regular dinnertime default position was to sit along one side: Dude Man at one end, me at the other, with The Child smack-dab in the middle. (Breakfast was more casual; kitchen-counter catch-can. And lunch? Well, lunch was at work or school.)

Our dining table with flaps fully extended for a Tree Trim party (a festive tradition you can read about here)

Out in Amagansett, even though it’s usually just The Dude and me these days, we have “our” spots — which, coincidentally or not — are the same ones we started out with: two seats at one end across from each other.

The Amagansett table gets a workout at holidays, too. Pictured here: a post-Thanksgiving game of Schmeeg

Oddly enough, when Dude Man and I were on our recent Antarctic Adventure, people tended to sit in the same place at meals. The Dude and I liked the starboard dining room at breakfast with the self-contained Germans. At dinner, we liked the port side with the livelier East Asians. And yes, we usually sat not only in the same section, but in the same seats. If somebody else was sitting there, it felt…odd.

Some penguins dining ashore. That’s our ship, complete with two dining rooms, in the distance.

As far as I can tell, The Child and the SIL aren’t doing the Same Seat At Dinner Thing. Perhaps it’s a generational thing? Is having the same seat at dinner kind of like using a rotary phone?

For one thing, they eat out pretty often. Maybe they sit at the same table?

Because they have crazy schedules, there’s also quite a bit of grazing. Not worrisome (to them, anyway), since it’s supposed to be a good thing to eat when you’re hungry…not when it’s time. Sometimes, when visiting, I get odd looks when I ask what time they’d like dinner on the table. “Time? Table? I was going to go for a run later (!)”

Forget about sitting in the same seats — sometimes they don’t even sit

All of this, for me anyway, has taken a bit of getting used to. But I’m getting there. You know that old chestnut: “I don’t care what you call me, as long as you call me for dinner.” I guess you could amend that to: “I don’t care when I sit — or where I sit — as long as I’m somewhere near you.”

Relaxing our dining-table standards, one set of feet at a time

Amagansett, New York. March 2026

Holidays on edge

Standard

‘Teetering on the brink with no buffer.’

You know that your Spring Chickenhood has expired when you open the Times and see a piece titled “This is the Year Millennials Officially Got Old.” Especially if the “old” millennials of your acquaintance happen to be your daughter and her friends.

My Aging Millennial in my mind’s eye

Heavy sigh goes here.

It’s not that this is a depressing notion. It’s more like it’s surprising.

I’ve mentioned (well, moaned and whined) before that I don’t mind getting old so much. My late lamented Dad felt otherwise. When challenged in his later years to, say, get up out of a chair, Dad used to famously mutter, “Don’t get old.” To which one of us kids would usually reply, “Um, Dad, what’s my other choice?”

The Child making sure my Dad’s head is not too old to stay attached securely

Nope, for me it’s not the getting old part I mind so much. After all, Equally-Old Dude Man and I are still up for gallivanting around the world chasing birds and adventure. (See “Channeling My Inner Shackleton” or “New Guinea was a Once-in-a-Lifetime Experience” for examples of elderly derring-do.)

What I do mind is how much faster getting older is getting. It feels like I’ve just scoured out the Thanksgiving roasting pan and stowed it in the hard-to-get-to cabinet on top of the refrigerator when it’s time to climb on a chair and wrestle it down again. (When I can no longer do this is when I pass the Thanksgiving Baton on to someone younger and fitter.)

And when I can no longer do this, I’m hanging it up for good

But what’s been really getting to me lately is that, getting-older-wise, I no longer have a generational buffer. My grandparents, of course, are long gone. But also gone are oodles of aunts and uncles. My Dad was one of eight; my Mom was the oldest of five. All are gone. Even Aunt Marilyn, she of “A Very Marilyn Christmas” fame, is now up there in the Santa Land of the Sky.

Aunt Marilyn when she was a buffer in high school

 

Even Dude Man’s buffer has been wiped out. I have lovely memories of his grandmother, Elsie. But that’s all I have. Same with his parents. His much-beloved Aunt Eleanor, with whom we were both very close, (See “She Put the ‘Giving’ in Thanksgiving”) slipped this mortal coil a couple of years ago.

Eleanor celebrates the Big 9-0. She would celebrate eight more

But, even when everyone else was disappearing, there was always my mother. Until there wasn’t. (See “Beautiful Swan” for some bittersweet remembrances. Or “The One Time Families Get Together” for an account of her memorial weekend.)

Mom, surrounded by accolades at her Memorial

So now here I am. Teetering on the edge, and with absolutely no buffer. Good thing I’ve got this instead:

It’s rather nice being their buffer

Amagansett, New York. December 2025.

 

 

 

 

If you see my sister tomorrow, please don’t wish her “Merry Christmas”

Standard

‘Wish her “Happy Birthday” instead, and watch her face light up.’

It’s tough having a December birthday. Everyone’s so gosh-darned busy decorating and caroling and partying that they tend to forget that some people actually celebrate their natal day this month. People other than the Christ Child himself, I mean.

Like my sister. Her birthday not only falls in December, it’s on December 18. Which means it’s exactly one week before Christmas Day. Talk about atrocious timing.

Baby Laura. Not celebrating her birthday, but looking extremely cute

To her credit, our late great sainted mother would make an appropriate fuss on Laura’s birthday, as she did for all our birthdays. I remember that we kids used to say that “Christmas was for everybody, but birthdays were only for us.” Having a special day — with its attendant special fuss — is important in a big family.

A bit of our family hullabaloo on a random Christmas morning. And this isn’t even all of our family

We’d get to pick what we had for dinner on our birthday night — I can’t recall any of us choosing liver — and we also got to pick what kind of birthday cake we wanted. My Oldest Younger Brother Scott always specified a birthday pie because he was fonder of pie than cake. (Yes, his pie was adorned with candles.)

Laura and our sainted mom on her birthday last year

But back to my Favorite Only Sister. This year she celebrates not only an Important Big Milestone year-wise, but she is celebrating being a grandmother.

(I simply must digress here. It is nigh onto impossible for me to wrap my head around the fact that my baby sister who, in my mind’s eye is about eight years old, is now a grandmother.)

Favorite Only Sister Laura as she appears in my mind’s eye

Yes, Laura’s daughter Natalie has a freshly-produced bouncing baby girl, little Sydney. This girl is the spittin’ image of her mama and is already not only extremely adorable, but extraordinarily chatty:

I think she’s saying “Happy Birthday, Gramma!”

So. If you’re lucky enough to see my sister tomorrow — or any time this month — please do wish her a very happy birthday. She will love it. Just don’t add that you’re going to get her “one big present” for both her birthday and Christmas.

Amagansett, New York. December 2025

 

 

We had a little turkey this Thanksgiving.

Standard

‘But there was more than enough to go around’

Sigh. It’s been a little over a week since we bid good-bye to Thanksgiving and waved a reluctant hello to the Christmas season. Which, god help us, seems to be getting earlier every year. Not to get all Scrooge-like, but I like to polish off the turkey leftovers before decking my halls.

No, this wasn’t this year’s turkey, as famously introduced in “Flipping the Bird”. But. trust me, it looked much the same. As did my outfit

This year we didn’t actually have any leftovers. Even though this year’s turkey was a whopping 23 pounds — oddly enough, just about the same weight as Mr. Baby — by Saturday there was nothing left but bones. (Mr. Turkey’s, not Mr. Baby’s.)

Mr. Baby en route from SF, settling in with some inflight reading material

Speaking of Mr. Baby (um, which I do a lot), he and his parents were our special guests again this year, along with Grownup Besties Jim and Phyllis. (Yes, that Jim and Phyllis, of “Caterwauling in the Catskills” fame.)

Mr. Baby hangs with Jim and Grampa

We rounded out our festive table with some local relations varying in age from a few months to a few years over 70.

We had more than one little turkey at the table this year

We “did” the dinner and the pies and the games and, next day, the hiking and the demolishing of whatever meager leftovers were left. (No sweet potatoes or brussels sprouts; just a wee bit of stuffing and gravy and a few shreds of turkey.)

Though, this year, the hike was cut short by cold-baby-fussiness and a shortcut via railroad tracks almost ended in tragedy when a train unexpectedly rounded a curve and almost eliminated our branch of the Whitmore Clan in one fell swoop.

Walking off the pies on the beach. Where we did not run into any trains

Except for nearly getting wiped off the face of the earth, this Thanksgiving ranked right up there with the best. As I’ve said in many a post, in my humble opinion Thanksgiving beats Christmas by the gravy boatload. No cards, no gifts (well, maybe some wine), no decorations, and, best of all, no carols. (Who wants to hear “Little Drumstick Boy” on endless repeat?)

As for Christmas, we are somewhat resigned to the fact that Thanksgiving will be “ours”, while Christmas will be claimed by the the Saskatoon Clan. It seems only fair, since there are scads of them. The Other Grampa has two brothers and three sisters, which means, for Mr. Baby, many aunts and uncles to spoil him and many cousins with which to create mayhem.

In the meantime, speaking of Christmas, we’ve got this year’s card nailed:

Amagansett, New York. December 2025

 

 

Channeling my inner Shackleton

Standard

‘I didn’t think I wanted to go there. Until I did.’

It’s been so long since I’ve posted a story, you Lovely Readers probably thought I’d been to the ends of the earth and back.

Well. You’re not wrong.

Dude Man and I just got back from Antarctica. Yes, that Antarctica, the one I said (in my post “The (South) Polar Express”) I’d rather be drawn and quartered than go to.

As I explained in that ten-year-old post — excuse me; the fact that I’ve been writing this darned blog for ten whole years is more amazing than a trip to Antarctica — I have always been fascinated by polar exploration. I now have three bookshelves devoted to books like this, my latest:

The story of the Mawson Expedition. Mawson was an Australian; this is written by him and it’s actually funny. If freezing your keister off can be funny

So, when an email from Field Guides, our bird-trip specialists of choice, popped up in my inbox, I was like, “Hey, why not?” As Dude Man would say (and did), we need to do trips like this “while we still can.” (I got him a tee shirt with that printed on it for Christmas last year; he’s pretty much worn it out.)

Avoiding icebergs (and shooting penguins) in a crowded little Zodiac

Oddly enough — or maybe not so oddly? — Antarctica is a very popular destination these days. I was at a fancy-lady luncheon about a month before leaving, and the woman next to me asked if I had any trips coming up. When I mentioned going there, she piped up, “I just got back from Antarctica!”…then the woman on my other side said, “And I’m going next month!”

Enjoying myself, gosh darn it! (That’s our ship anchored in the background)

And then a good friend of mine said her soon-to-be-son-in-law was going — and he happened to be on “my” ship (!) Sheesh. Is there anywhere I could go that isn’t, well, crowded? (I just answered my own question. Papua New Guinea. Definitely not crowded. And for good reason. See “New Guinea was a Once-in-a-Lifetime Experience” for gory deets.)

Me with new coincidental buddy Dave, leaving our ship, the Ortelius,  at Ushuaia

But enough about making new friends. Did we see any penguins, you probably want to know. Well, duh. We saw penguins on rocks, penguins on nests, penguins jumping on and off icebergs. We even saw penguins bringing gifts to their girlfriends — perfect little pebbles for their nests:

It got kind of ridiculous because we weren’t supposed to get close to the penguins — but they kept getting close to us.

Another new friend, Barry, makes a connection with a King Penguin chick

There were also many seals and whales and icebergs and floes. But, best of all, lots and lots of Shackletonia. There were lecturers on the ship who knew even more about Sir Ernest than I did. And we got to visit the waterfall the scooted down and the whaling station he stumbled into. We even toasted him at his gravesite! And, unprecedentedly, we got to see Point Wild, which figures greatly in the Shackleton Saga. (Read a short version here; but I highly recommend digging into The Endurance, by Alfred Lansing. Total page-turner.)

Totally inappropriate expression at a gravesite, but I was so darned happy to be there

Speaking of happy, guess who’s going to be here for Thanksgiving? And just look at what he learned while we were cruising around the icebergs. Things are going to be exciting!

Of course I brought him a whale of a gift:

A little right whale. Stuffed — perfect for Thanksgiving!

But here’s the best gift — and I got it even before they left for the airport this morning:

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Amagansett, New York. November 2025

Caterwauling in the Catskills

Standard

‘Even perfect babies have their moments.’

“I haven’t ever really been around any babies,” admitted our BF Jim. We were up in the Catskills for our annual leafy weekend. But this time we were joined by The Child, the SIL — and Mr. Baby.

Mr. Baby holding court

Now, those of you who are at all acquainted with babies know that, scattered in with the awwwww-darned-he’s-so-cute moments, there can be periods that try one’s patience.

Hanging by the firepit with Grampa. A definite he’s-so-cute moment. The baby was adorable too.

Unfortunately for Jim, Mr. Baby had contracted a bit of a bug that only appeared once we had arrived Upstate. Nothing serious (The Child and The SIL contacted their pediatrician) but enough to cause His Babyness to go from cute to contrary in mere seconds — with absolutely no warning.

I know. He looks pretty cute here. But note that diabolical smirk

One minute he’d be delighting us with his attempts at language. (“DogDog” for any cute animal, real or stuffed.) And the next, he’d be screaming and thrashing about. (He now weighs about 25 pounds, so his thrashing is not to be taken lightly. Literally.)

Mr. Baby and his dad enjoying a spectacular view of the Hudson River

Fortunately, Jim’s has plenty of distractions. We hiked like crazy — on Jim’s property and up and down Catskills trails.

Hiking around Jim’s property

We went to Olana, the amazing home of Frederick Church, for a house and garden tour. (Mr. Baby made it through about a third of the indoor portion before demanding to be put down — a definite no-no in a place abounding with historically significant knick-knacks — which meant his mom had to escort him back outside.) But that’s okay. He loves being outside.

Mr. Baby after being banished from Olana. (Yes, that day was his first birthday! He celebrated with one meatball!)

We even went to Opus 40, which is a very cool outdoor artwork that took this one kooky guy 40 years to build from rocks. (Actually, he was in, like, Year 38 when he died, so it’s unfinished. Not that you can tell.

Exploring Opus 40

Aside from the occasional demonic possession episode, the weekend was a hit. Which is fortunate, since we’ve been going to Jim’s on or around Columbus Day for more than 30 years now. In return, all these years the Jims have come to our Amagansett Thanksgiving. Fingers crossed we get asked back next year. Or I’ll hold the Thanksgiving turkey hostage.

Meanwhile, here’s a video of Mr. Baby having fun playing Juggle the DogDog with Gramma:

Amagansett, New York. October 2025

“Burn this, please.”

Standard

‘Remembering my one and only maternity outfit.’

Forgive me for the, um, pregnant pause in posting. So many projects, so little time! I swear that I’ve never been busier since I stopped working. I get up, settle in with a cup of coffee and Spelling Bee, and before you know it it’s time for a Manhattan and Wordle.

One of the Antarctic books I recommend if you’re not going to the Antarctic. Or even if you are (!)

In between, there are things that need fixing (this week it was the nuker and the coffee machine), books that need reading (some Shackleton stuff in preparation for Antarctica in a couple of weeks) and — lately — a book I’m Shutterflying to commemorate my mother’s memorial weekend in late August.

Some Mom memorabilia at her Celebration of Life. Including a book I made to commemorate her 90th birthday

Whew.

Oh, and there are sweaters to knit. These days, I can hardly crank one out for myself in between the ones for the babies of my nearest and dearest.

My latest sweater not for a baby: the Field Sweater by Camilla Vad

Yes, don’t let statistics of a declining birth rate throw you. The Child and her cohort are making up for everyone else. Seems like every single member of this particular batch of Thirtysomethings has at least one little Bundle of Joy. And some are working on siblings.

Handsome little hoodie for handsome little Julian

Right now I’m working on a rustic mini-hoodie (tweed with “leather” buttons) for Leon, and already planning something sweet for a soon-to-appear Baby Girl Grand-Niece.

Speaking of Mom’s Memorial, Baby Girl Grand-Niece was there, though not outwardly visible (yet).

Seeing this fashionable young Mom-to-Be got me to thinking about my own pregnancy and, to a lesser extent, my own maternity wardrobe. Which consisted of exactly one item: those awful stone-washed-denim overalls you see me wearing in the photo at the top of this post.

Here’s my sister and her two girls. All looking waaay more stylish than tee-shirt-and-shorts-clad me. Pregnant — or not

I swear to the pregnancy gods, these overalls were literally the only thing I wore during the last couple of months of carrying — and I do mean “carrying” — The Child. I wore them with tee shirts and sneakers. I wore them with turtlenecks and boots. And, bless me, I even wore them with silk blouses and low heels for dress up. They were the only thing that fit. Because they were the only piece of Actual Maternity Wear that I owned.

Quel contrast: Here is Her Childness, also attired in maternity denim. But managing, somehow, not to look like a hillbilly. Maybe it’s the antlers

See, I was 39, and figured that maternity clothes were a bad investment. At the time — 1990/1991 — clothes made specially for expectant mothers were not only very expensive, they made you look either like a nun (severe, black, trying for invisibility) or like a baby yourself (ruffles, poufs, bows). I got away with wardrobe murder — mainly by stealing Dude Man’s duds — until my seventh month when I blew up like a balloon for a not-so-fun party. My mother, bless her, is the one who saved me from bathrobe-only dressing by buying me that overall.

Maternity dressing, the olden-days way. That’s me, leaning against my elegantly-dressed Mom’s pregnant tummy, which contained Oldest Younger Brother Scott

But, trust me, after I wrestled my way into my hospital gown before being escorted into the labor room, I handed that overall — worn that day with a white tee and blue high-tops — to a nurse and said, “Burn this.”

Amagansett, New York. September 2025

 

New Guinea was a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

Standard

‘Quite literally.’

My cranky post from last week, “Getting There was Definitely Not Half the Fun,” whined on about how it took such a godawful looooong time to get to New Guinea. This week I’ll continue my rant by regaling you with a few stories about what it was like once we got there.

Dude Man sticking out like a sore birder at the Wamena airport

First, let me say that I am not sorry that we went to New Guinea. (Notice use of past tense here.) It was truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience. For one thing, we saw amazing Birds of Paradise (BOPs for short) and other species we can only find there. But I must say that I have never been anywhere quite like it — none of our trips to Colombia or Ecuador or Guyana or Uganda or any of our five trips to Brazil even comes close to how uniquely different this place felt.

Lovely — but empty — countryside

It was hot, but we’ve done hot (hello, Namibia). It was humid, but so was Borneo. Lots of places have been buggy. No hot water and intermittent electricity? Ditto. True, we were informed beforehand that it might be dangerous — there is a civil war going on — but “dangerous” doesn’t really hit home until you’re told to roll up your windows in the car so you don’t get kidnapped. I mean, in Botswana and Kenya we were warned that it wasn’t safe to walk around by yourself, but that was because of the animals.

“Our” village, Mingre. “Our” house is one of four or five in all

In some of the remoter areas where we were looking for BOPs, we were literally the only outsiders for miles around. There is no tourism, unless you count BOP-crazy birders, so there’s no lodging; villagers double up so you can stay in one of their houses.

Yes, we had our own room. And we were lucky to have a bathroom — to share

The countryside is divvied up by clans who control the villages and the land around them. Our local “handlers” would make arrangements with a clan to use the trails leading into “their” forest. Headlamps secured, we’d hike in the pitch dark so we could arrive by dawn to “blinds” located near the BOPs mating grounds, where we would wait — sometimes for hours — for the BOPs to appear and do their thing.

One of the blinds we used. The front is camouflaged with leaves and branches

Interesting note here: the BOPs clear an area on the forest floor to do their dancing rituals. To get them to appear, you place a few leaves on the cleared area. The birds hate their dancing ground messed up like that, so they show up to clear those pesky leaves away, and then (if you’re lucky) they stick around to dance.

Waiting inside a blind. At least this one had a bench. You peek out those holes when (if!) the BOPs appear. We were lucky; out of 16 BOPs, we only missed one

In the afternoons we would usually bird along the roads. But even here, on a public road, we needed clan permission — not to walk on their land, just to look at it. One day a very angry man rushed at us wielding not just a machete, but an axe. He had not been informed of our presence and was decidedly not pleased to see our group there. Some fast talking by our local handlers was required.

Markers like these denoted village territory. When you got to one, you turned around. Fast

As I’ve mentioned before, I don’t take bird photos on these trips. They don’t turn out so hot with an iPhone. Dude Man takes amazing shots, but it takes months of painstaking sorting before they leave his amazing Canon. But I did get a grainy shot of a remarkable bird who, lacking fancy BOP plumage, builds a bower to attract a mate, then decorates it with all kinds of fancy stuff. In former times, these were colorful seeds or flowers. But the clever Bower Bird has adapted, and uses manmade materials to great effect.

A bower (as glimpsed from a blind), decorated with blue bottlecaps, orange plastic found objects, and shiny insect shells and bits of broken glass

If you look closely, you can see Mr. Bower Bird lurking in the bower between the small tree and the orange piggy bank. To get the bird to show up, you disarrange his pattern slightly, which gets him to come neaten it up. This time, the guide put a yellow bottle cap on top of the blue ones. Mr. BB showed up immediately to toss it out. Oh, and that orange piggy bank? The locals said it took weeks for him to drag it from the village.

I’ll leave you with pleasant thoughts of a plain little bird arranging his treasures…and with something truly scary: a growling baby. Something we did not see in New Guinea.

Amagansett, New York. August 2025

Getting there was definitely not half the fun.

Standard

’35 hours to reach West Papua. Even more to get back.’

I watched this movie last night called Red Eye. It’s a pretty good thriller about a hotel worker thwarting a terrorist on a night flight. It’s not a new movie; you can tell because a plot twist involves one of those seatback phones you could activate with a credit card. Remember those? I was always too intimidated to use one, and now I’ll never get a chance.

I did get plenty of chances to mess around with my iPhone. (Plus watch many movies and plow through scads of e-books.) Since it took us forever and a day to get to New Guinea. We left (very early) on a Thursday morning, and didn’t get there till Sunday. Granted, we did cross the international dateline and “lose” a day. But still. Let’s just say I laid waste to the Connections archive.

Me, after landing at one of many airports on this interminable trip

But hey. I just re-read that opening, and I sound kind of elderly and crabby. Let’s lighten the mood, shall we, by mentioning that today is The Child and the SIL’s wedding anniversary. Yup, it’s been three years since that landmark Canadian fete. (Which you can relive through “Two Weddings are Better than One.”)

A lot has happened since August 13, 2022

What on earth prompted Dude Man and me to put up with two back-to-back eleven hour flights (to Istanbul then to Jakarta) plus another eight hours to Biak (with a three-hour layover in Makassar)? The birds of paradise, that’s what. Basically, if you want to see the birds of paradise (or BOPs as they are affectionately called in birder shorthand), you have to go to New Guinea. Because New Guinea is where they live. Oh, there are a couple of BOPs you can find in Northeastern Australia. But for the creme de la creme (or plume de la plume) of BOPs, Papua is where you’ve got to go.

Here’s New Guinea, with some of our BOP spots circled

Incidentally, if, like me, you are “of a certain age,” you may remember “antimacassars,” I entertained our fellow layover victims by telling about how Makassar was where a popular hair oil was produced back in the Victorian era. This hair oil became so popular that these little fabric doilies — antimacassars — were invented to protect furniture from getting all yucky with it. My Gramma Peterson was an antimacassar fan. She also liked magazine racks. And pipe stands.

Outside our hotel in Biak after breakfast on Sunday — three days after leaving NY

Oh well. The Makassar layover was endured, our last flight was flown — and we made it to West Papua. Biak, to be exact. Where we spent the next few days tracking birds and collecting bug bites. One of these days I will get The Dude to extract his very wonderful bird photos from his very good camera. (In the meantime, you can learn about BOPs here: birds of paradise and feast your eyes here: photos of birds of paradise.) I will leave you with a promise to get back to you with more on our New Guinean adventure soon. Oh. One last thing. I drove over to see Anthony, my haircutter, for a much-needed pruning today and he told me that his father, who served on New Guinea during WWII, would have been amazed at our going there. “You went to New Guinea?!? On purpose?!?” he no doubt would have remarked.

At last! Our first birding morning. Note Dude Man’s camo-camera (pics to come!)

Amagansett, New York. August 2025

 

 

 

 

Who needs hazardous duty pay?

Standard

‘Not me. I got a very cool reward.’

You may have heard that it’s been very hot this summer. Heck, you may have experienced this heat wave yourself.

As luck would have it, I got to sample record temperatures in the Midwest last weekend, and then I got to sweat it out all over again a few days later when the heat dome moved on to the East Coast.

When last I posted — with a story called “In Case You Didn’t Know It Already, I Love Weddings” — I had been asked to meet The Kids in St. Louis to babysit Mr. Baby while they went to a wedding. (I was telling someone about this, and she asked, “Who’s wedding is it?” “Heck if I know,” I replied. “I don’t get to go to the wedding. I’m going to St. Louis so they can go to the wedding.”)

The heat wave didn’t stop us from visiting the Gateway Arch. (Note, however, that we are hiding in a patch of shade)

Me? I didn’t pack anything I could have worn to a wedding even if I had been asked. You know, like, if they were lacking an older woman to fill a table. Nope, my duffel held just a bunch of spit-proof duds that I could crawl around a floor in. I did take a tuxedo shirt, since the SIL doesn’t own one. Plus cufflinks. Oh, and some Laduree macarons. The Kids love them (Laduree macarons, not cufflinks), so I always make sure to score a box before I travel to see them. They don’t take up much room, and I figure I’ll get asked back for my treats even if my child-minding skills prove a tad rusty.

Speaking of “rusty,” my instincts did kick right in. I didn’t have to remember to sway gently with Mr. Baby on my shoulder. I just did it. And that whispering-in-the-ear thing? Came right back. As did good ole tuneless humming and dancing around the room. Oh — and coaching:

What did prove rusty were my joints. The afore-mentioned crawling around on the floor is not for the faint of heart nor stiff of limb. Neither is the bending-over-the-Pack ‘n Play-to-lift-or-settle-the-baby. (Speaking of Pack ‘n Play, why isn’t my name Mrs. Graco? Everybody I know who knows a baby has a Graco Pack ‘n Play, including me. The Kids have at least two, plus there’s the one we bought to put in the Air BnB. Printing money, that lucky Mrs. Graco must be.)

The Pack ‘n Play that lives at my house; “changing table” (ie “twin bed”) in foreground

I did get to go to a wedding-related event on Sunday morning — an event not requiring festive attire. This was an outdoor brunch where you could chat and/or play pickleball. (Guess which I opted for?) One lovely young wedding guest (whose parents were babysitting her daughter back home) asked what I found most different about watching a baby now as opposed to Way Back When.

Lovely young wedding guest’s husband, who demonstrated remarkable baby-comforting skills. Because he is also a Dad or maybe because he looks a lot like the SIL

“The gear,” I promptly replied. “All that stuff!” As I wrote in “It’s a Good Thing This Baby is So Adorable,” babies these days seem to require so much gear. Or, at least their parents do. I mean, this baby has a white noise machine. And as for the baby monitor? I demonstrated the one I used: I cupped my hand to my ear while miming peeking around a bedroom door.

To sum up, my babysitting gig was utterly satisfying as well as utterly exhausting. But, unlike those weenie British foreign service employees back in the day who got posted to St. Louis, I did not get — or even request — hazardous duty pay. I earned enough smiles to last me all summer — or until the next time my skills are required. Which I hope will be soon, or he won’t need my coaching anymore:

Amagansett, New York. July 2025