“Don’t try to pet her”

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‘Sasha, the dog with the 38-inch neck’

First, let me firmly establish, for you all Animal Lovers out there, that I am also one. An Animal Lover. When I was growing up in the Midwest we, like everyone else we knew, had not only a yard with plenty of room for pets to roam, but remarkably animal-tolerant parents.

Not only were my parents animal-tolerant, they were animals-eating-with-the-family tolerant. That’s Middle Younger Bro Roger vying for table scraps with Hermie while Oldest Younger Bro Scott looks on

Through the years, we not only hosted dogs and cats of all stripes and dispositions (including one dog named Horrible because he was, in fact, ‘horrible’), but also turtles and rabbits and some guinea pigs who disappeared from their cages and were never seen again. Oh, and some guinea hens my brother Roger brought home from a sleepover. (They lived in the basement, roosting on the water pipes.) My Mom and Dad even tolerated reptiles (a couple of chameleons and an iguana named Cleopatra), probably because they didn’t last very long.

So. Now that we’ve set the pro-pet record straight, let me tell you about this dog.

The Dude and I hadn’t been married all that long. We were in that stage where you’re getting to know each other’s Friends From Before. One of the Dude’s was this guy named Gerry. They’d bonded while training together as ophthalmologists. We’d met them for a wild evening at Regine’s once, but this was the first (and, as it turned out, the last) time Gerry and his wife Mary (they later divorced; I am convinced it’s because their names rhymed) invited us out to Connecticut for the weekend.

We decided to go. After enjoying a pleasant drive in the ole VW Rabbit, Connecticut being a pretty state and all, we were pulling up to their house when we noticed two things: Continue reading

Blame it on the Cronut

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‘Shamelessly flogging the blog’

Surely you’ve heard of the Cronut. It’s a hybrid of ‘donut’ and ‘croissant’, and is extremely popular amongst the nose ring-and-fedora set. So popular that I’ve read of Cronut Wars in Williamsburg (that’s Hipster Williamsburg, not Colonial Williamsburg). You can read about this pastry rivalry by clicking on the link below.

‘In Greenpoint, a Situation Ripe for a Doughnut War’

But first let me indulge in some shameless self-promotion. And introduce you to the Plog. Like the Cronut, it’s a hybrid. A hybrid of ‘plug’ and ‘blog’. See, unlike those dueling bakers of hipster pastries, we bloggers receive no compensation for our labors (at least I don’t anyway–there’s not even a tip jar on my countertop.) What do we get? A nice warm feeling knowing that our posts are being read (and, fingers crossed, enjoyed).

Call me crazy, but I’d really like to avoid the literary version of the ‘tree-falling-in-the-woods-with-no-one-to-hear-it’ scenario, so I’m going to go out on a limb here and invite you to Continue reading

(Silly) Signs of the times

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Jury duty today. Lots of downtime, so no more excuses for ‘post procrastination’. While hanging about waiting to be funneled through the metal detector, I noticed several rather daunting signs involving incarceration. Which set me to musing about other signs I’ve seen, some rather (unintentionally, I can only assume) hilarious.

A few of these: The Our Lady of Perpetual Help Business School, the (ahem) Karen Horney Clinic, and the Master Cabbie Taxi Academy — where, during a particularly exasperating period of freelance fatigue, I imagined myself working. I practiced answering their phone, in my best receptionist tones: ‘Master Cabbie Taxi Academy. How may I direct your call?’

But few signs please me more than the punny ones. Laundry and dry cleaning establishments seem to have a corner on the market here. Among my favorites: Continue reading