‘Other than at a wedding, that is.’

Yes, there were flowers. And yes, there was food. There were tears — but there were also toasts.

No, this wasn’t a send-off for a dewy-eyed newly-wed couple. This was a send-off for our dear departed mother. Yes, our late great Dad (See “Remembering Dad and the Sir Launch-A-Lot” for one of many Dad Stories) joined her for the final event in Seaside, but it was really all about Mom.

Our Mom. So happy. She was at a wedding, and she was by the water

My Favorite Sister pulled out all the stops in organizing our Mom Fest, three action-and-emotion packed days of Henry-ness. First, there was a Celebration of Life, where My Oldest Younger Brother polished up a showstopper of a slideshow, and Middle and Youngest introduced guests and wowed the crowd with poignant anecdotes.

Some of the rapt crowd at the Celebration of Life. Note box of tissues on the table. Just in case

The next day was an open house chez Laura, where family and friends mingled and sipped.

Cousinly mingling by the bounteous spread. (Note deviled eggs, which I never see on the East Coast. Which was my excuse for eating more than my share)

Sisterly sipping outside in the hot-but-welcoming back yard

Then, on Sunday, we siblings, spouses and kids drove out to Seaside, where Mom and Dad spent several happy years, to bid them both a fond final farewell.

1220 Columbia. Where Mom and Dad lived for several happy years, thanks to Laura and Dave, who owned the house

My sister had done her research. She found biodegradable urns which she decorated with flowers. She and some sibs and nephews formed a kayak flotilla to float Mom and Dad’s ashes out onto the river that runs into the Seaside sea — the same river along which Mom lived after Dad died.

The apartment on the second floor with the red chair on the balcony is where Mom lived after Dad died

If you like, you can watch as Laura launches first Dad, then Mom. (Those of us not in kayaks can be seen watching from the deck above.)

I won’t try to describe what it felt like to be there. Except to say that I was glad I was.

All five of us Henry Kids. Together for the first time since Scott’s 70th. (Which you can read about in “My Brother’s Living Wake”)

Afterward, we went to Mom’s favorite restaurant in Seaside, Dooger’s — where we spent her 80th birthday, which of course feels like ten minutes ago. I ordered her favorite dish — the crab claws, the meat of which Dooger’s thoughtfully removes from the shells for you, plus (duh) some wine. Mom loved her wine.

She loved her water, too. Here she is after jumping fully-clothed into a pool (one of Laura’s many great stories)

Afterward, some of us repaired to an outdoor bar. Because why not?

Hugging goes great with outdoor cocktails

Then it was goodbye time. With promises to get together even if there are no more sendoffs — weddings or otherwise — in our foreseeable future.

Speaking of the future, here’s Dude Man and Mr. Baby digging the Seaside beach

Amagansett, New York. September 2025