Jaws

That Seventies Summer

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‘Revisiting sizzling hits from 50 years ago’

Maybe it has something to do with going to Dude Man’s 50th college reunion (Class of ’74) back in June. Or maybe it’s just because those summers in the seventies produced such revisitable stuff.

Starting the summer with a seventies bang: with old college cronies at Dude Man’s 50th reunion

Whatever the reason, I’ve pushed Alice Munro to the side for the time being and am devoting myself to art of a somewhat more accessible type. (Not that Alice isn’t eminently accessible; she even wrote some of her best stuff in the seventies; dip into “Something I’ve Been Meaning to Tell You, her book from 1974 and see what I mean.) Alice is my Summer Project, where I read a good biography of a writer I like and read (or re-read) his/her works as they are mentioned. (Trust me, Folks. This is the only way to make sense of Edith Wharton writing Ethan Frome.)

Iris was a good subject, tho she wrote waaaaay too many books to reread them all

But nothing Alice wrote featured marauding sharks. I’m talking Jaws here, folks. Both the book and the movie. The book came out 50 years ago, and the movie the year after. I’ve seen the movie regularly every summer for, well, ages. (Note: there is nothing more satisfying than introducing a new person to Jaws. Kristy and Spencer, I’m talking to you!) But I can’t remember reading the book (?!) so I ordered it and started on it a few minutes ago, tearing myself away just long enough to write this summery piece. (It won’t be a long piece; Chrissy’s body has just been discovered — or part of it anyway — tangled in seaweed.)

I couldn’t find my old paperback of Jaws. Which makes me wonder if I ever did read it (?) Anyway. I got this 50th Anniversary Edition. Goodie

This Seventies blockbuster fixation started earlier this week when I was tidying a guest room. There on top of a stack of guestroom-worthy paperbacks was “The Stepford Wives.” It was a copy that was getting a bit smelly and shopworn as paperbacks near the ocean tend to do. (I know I know. Braggety-brag brag brag. I’m by the ocean!) I almost threw it out, but instead sat down and started to read. A few hours later I came up for air. Then that night I watched the movie, which was the nineties version. And I am so sorry, Nicole and Glenn and Bette, that movie was so awful I immediately watched the good version. Which was from 1975 (!) and featured Katharine Ross and Paula Prentiss. I am telling you, this movie is good. So good that when it was over I had to crunch down half a valium in order to calm down enough to go to sleep.

This book was not too stinky to reread. So I did. The 2004 movie was stinky enough

Well. And last night it was “Diary of a Mad Housewife,” with Richard How-About-A-Roll-in-the-Hay Benjamin and the late lamented Carrie Snodgress. A hot young Frank Langella is in it too. What’s not to like? I was dying to read the book, too, but the paperback was waaay too smelly. So, yup, I ordered a new one.

Good thing this photo isn’t scratch ‘n sniff

Oh — and after I watched “Diary,” I watched “American Graffiti.” Which is a movie made in the seventies about kids in the sixties. And why not? It’s summer. Oh! Before I forget. That photo at the top of this post? Another sizzling seventies memory (Southern Illinois in August!): a shot from my first wedding in 1972. 

Enjoy these summer days no matter what you’re up to — I’ll be back next week, unless I’m gobbled up by a shark (unlikely) or suffocated by a smelly paperback (much more likely).

Amagansett, New York. July 2024

 

 

It’s been an Apocalypto kind of day

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‘On watching movies more than once’

I know I know. I’m not the only person who watches the same movie more than once. For instance, many people have special Christmas movies. “It’s a Wonderful Life.” “Love Actually.” “A Christmas Carol” in one of its many variations. (I like the Muppet One best. Those rat muppets in the hula skirts singing “We’re Havin’ A Heat Wave” after Michael Caine’s Scrooge threatens to fire them for asking for more coal are eminently re-watchable.)

When we were at The Child’s for the holidays, she insisted on watching “White Christmas.” She even sang along to “Snow.” Which warmed the cockles of my tradition-loving motherly heart– see “Taking Motherhood to a Whole New Level” for non-movie-watching activities involving scary heights–since we used to watch this every Christmas when she was an Actual Child. She sang along to “Snow” then, too.

She also insisted that the new James Bond film was a Christmas movie. And who am I to argue? I think Die Hard is a Christmas movie

And I know a lot of people–besides myself, I mean–who have watched really good, really classic movies more than one time. I’m talking “The Godfather” here, folks. Which, in my humble opinion–plus a lot of other not-so-humble people’s–is The Best Movie Ever Made. Seriously. If you haven’t seen it, stop reading this stupid blog post and load ‘er up. There’s a restored 50th anniversary version (gasp! fifty years!) but any ole version will do. I just watched it again for the umpteenth time on my iPad because I couldn’t figure out how to use the “universal control” on the Big New TV that basically ate the den in Amagansett. Sigh.

Anyway. Back to movies. In this really good, really classic category I also include “All About Eve” and “Fargo.” And hey, “Jaws.” Seriously. Just because “Jaws” has sharks and such doesn’t mean it isn’t a classic. I just wish Spielberg had dispensed already with the mechanical shark. It was silly and he didn’t need it. Boys with their toys. (Another big sigh goes here.)

Marge “SunofaGunderson” in “Fargo.” Hey. It’s a beautiful day. And is that your buddy there? In the chipper?

I love these movies so much I could “do” them for you. By which I mean I could quote huge chunks of dialog while mimicking the actions too. All it takes is a cocktail. One cocktail.

No, what I am talking about in the title of this piece is the kind of movie that really doesn’t have any rhyme nor reason to be repeatable. Like, it isn’t a “classic,” in the sense of having film-school classes organized around it. (See anything Orson Welles.) And it isn’t inextricably linked to a Major Holiday. (See “Bad Santa.” Or not.)

No. This kind of movie is the antidote to a mood. Like, today I had one of those kinds of days where little irksome things kept happening. Blinky warning lights on devices. Pieces published on websites with question marks in odd places. Not being able to locate a record locator. That kind of stuff.

So. I had an irresistible urge to watch “Apocalypto.” Now, this is a movie I had never heard of until I happened to be visiting Second Oldest Younger Brother Roger one time and he happened to have it on hand. “Want to watch Apocalypto?” he asked. “Not my kind of movie,” I replied.

The DVD case for Apocalypto doesn’t exactly make a case for watching it

“Not your kind of movie, eh? We’ll just see about that,” Middle Younger Bro wisely said, slipping the DVD into the little slidey thingie.

Of course he was right. From the opening scene where a huge boar gets trapped and gobbled up raw by extremely attractive scantily-clad men (Jaguar Paw is, well, grrrr!) to the wild treks through the jungle and the Mayan rip-their-hearts-out (literally) sacrifice scene to the really ironic ending, it’s a keeper. And, oddly enough, an antidote to whatever nonsense is happening in your life. It puts being on interminable hold in proper perspective for sure. (See “A Life on Hold.” Or not. Maybe just watch “Apocalypto.”)

My fairly routine need for an “Apocalypto Fix” has even entered the Henry Family Lexicon. When we are on our Sunday Night Family FaceTime calls, if I happen to look a little downcast, one of my bros will say something like, “Looks like you could use a little Apocalypto.”

The weekly gathering of the Henry Clan. “Apocalypto” may be mentioned

Incidentally, The Dude claims not to understand how I can want to watch a movie more than once. He says you don’t need to because “you already know what happens.” But then, this is the same guy who once watched “Four Weddings and a Funeral” twice–in one session. (He was having a particularly bad day.)

But did I watch “Apocalypto” last night? Nope. I went to the opera to see Rodelinda. Which is a rarely performed Handel opera. With two count-’em-two countertenors. I hadn’t seen it when I took the rather grim selfie at the top of this post. And now? Those Handel-y rhythms soothed this savage breast so well that it pushed “Apocalypto” right out of my head.

Well, until tonight anyway.

New York City. March 2022

Getting along with the neighbors

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‘A landlubber learns to lub the sea. Well, sort of.’

As someone who grew up in the Midwest far from any major body of water — not even a Great Lake, mind you — I have always maintained a healthy respect for the ocean.

I mean, creatures live in the ocean. Big creatures. Sure, lakes have fish living in them. But the odd perch or bluegill or crappie (yes, that’s a fish, pronounced ‘croppie’, in case you were wondering) isn’t really very scary. Unless you’re treading water and one of them, you know, brushes against your leg under the water. Which is pretty creepy.

Me, gamely 'enjoying' Lake Carlyle. Hoping that a crappie won't take a fancy to one of my toes

Me, gamely ‘enjoying’ Lake Carlyle. Hoping that a crappie won’t take a fancy to one of my toes. Note that my hair is not even wet

But ‘creepy’ doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel about the creatures who frequent the briny deep. I made this deal with them early on in our relationship — sharks, manta rays, jellyfish, are you listening? — ‘You stay out of my living room, and I’ll stay out of yours.’

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