Water Babies

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‘Born to love the beach.’

Recently, I had the good fortune to spend some time with The Child and the SIL and their growing family. (They are expecting another addition in May. Also a boy — so we’ll have a brand-new Mr. Baby; the current baby is hereby promoted to “Mr. Kid.”)

Mom and Kid testing the waters. New Mr. Baby is in the shot too…just not visible (yet)

We did lots of fun things in San Francisco, but right up there at the tippy-top on the fun scale was our afternoon at Ocean Beach. SF was suffering though an unprecedented heat wave. (87 degrees!) So the beach seemed like a fine idea — even though it was mid-March.

Also in March — but not in 87-degree weather — Mr. Kid takes to the waters of Lake Tahoe

The Child had just purchased a protective swim outfit for Mr. Kid, but once he saw the water, he wrestled himself free from her outfit-changing hands and charged right into a nearby tide pool. So what if he got his sweatpants wet — he was ecstatic!

Ecstatic toddler, now clad in swim gear, charging around the tide pool

The Child was just like that when she was his age. I clearly recall her very small diaper-clad form lighting out for the surf every chance she got. Luckily for her, both Dude Dad and Grampa Whit were water lovers.

Dad and Grampa introduce the Baby Child to the water

Me, I wasn’t born to love the beach. I grew up in the very midst of the Great Midwest, and didn’t clap my eyes on a beach till I was darn-near fully grown. To be clear, I’m not counting the “beaches” next to lakes. They can be sandy, true. But the water adjacent to them basically just sits there; one does not learn about waves or tides or eddies, nor does one learn to respect the sea puss.

Me, enjoying the bathwater-like waters of Lake Carlyle. (But learning absolutely nothing about how to deal with oceans)

It takes an ocean to learn to deal with the ocean. Thankfully, over the years I’ve more or less gotten the hang of it, though I did learn some lessons the hard way. On my first visit to an Atlantic Ocean beach I was waving gaily to my batch of Ogilvy friends on shore when they got all wide-eyed and put their hands to their mouths in dismay: a giant wave was coming. It knocked me over and spun me around like a rag doll in a washing machine. I lost my sunglasses, my bikini top and my dignity. But I learned never to turn my back on the waves.

Yes, The Child has been fully waterproofed and oceanized from a very early age. Why, she’s practically a fish.

The Child demonstrating her Fish Face while modeling a Fish Head she made in school

Knowing The Child and the SIL, I’m sure the new Mr. Baby will also be developing gills. In the meantime, I’m sending happy thoughts out to the Coast.

Happy Beach Day, All!

Amagansett, New York. March 2026

Getting along with the neighbors

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‘A landlubber learns to lub the sea. Well, sort of.’

As someone who grew up in the Midwest far from any major body of water — not even a Great Lake, mind you — I have always maintained a healthy respect for the ocean.

I mean, creatures live in the ocean. Big creatures. Sure, lakes have fish living in them. But the odd perch or bluegill or crappie (yes, that’s a fish, pronounced ‘croppie’, in case you were wondering) isn’t really very scary. Unless you’re treading water and one of them, you know, brushes against your leg under the water. Which is pretty creepy.

Me, gamely 'enjoying' Lake Carlyle. Hoping that a crappie won't take a fancy to one of my toes

Me, gamely ‘enjoying’ Lake Carlyle. Hoping that a crappie won’t take a fancy to one of my toes. Note that my hair is not even wet

But ‘creepy’ doesn’t even begin to describe how I feel about the creatures who frequent the briny deep. I made this deal with them early on in our relationship — sharks, manta rays, jellyfish, are you listening? — ‘You stay out of my living room, and I’ll stay out of yours.’

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