‘Don’t worry. This isn’t going to get (too) political.’
I swore up and down that I wouldn’t veer into political territory. Not in LutheranLiarLand. But there is a funny story that came to mind when I was messing around wasting precious time on Facebook and came across yet another post about Gary Johnson.
In case you’ve been in a cave these last few months (is it only months? feels like years), Gary Johnson is the Libertarian candidate for President of these United States.
Now Honest Injun I am not going to get into the fact that I think that voting for Gary — or for Jill, for that matter — is kind of like voting for Santa or the Easter Bunny. (Nope, not going there!)
The reason I’m writing (sort of) about Gary is because The Dude is a Libertarian. (There. I’ve said it.) Of course, everyone in our Real Life knows this because, trust me, His Dudeness is not shy about expressing his views to all and sundry. Many a dinner table conversation over the years — and not just in this or any other election year — has turned into a shouting match. Especially when his feisty liberal Aunt Eleanor is present. (She shouts louder than anyone. And she’s 91.)
The Dude has been a Libertarian — and darned proud of it — for as long as I’ve known him. He’s met Gary the J and other Libertarian Leaders on more than one occasion. He’s been to Albany to do a little Libertarian Lobbying. He’s even given speeches on Libertarian Themes.
I went to a couple of these speeches. You know, to show Wifely Support. My favorite was given in the basement of a Hungarian restaurant in the East Village. Singularly bad food — and worse wine — was served to a decidedly motley crew of listeners. One audience member, whose shoes, I noticed, were fastened with duct tape, arrived pushing one of those upright shopping carts. He was very good at shouting.
The Dude was such a good ambassador of Libertarianism that The Child became a convert. Of course she adored her father (still does) so that may have had something to do with it. But, be that as it may, she claimed to be a Libertarian too. Just like Daddy. Her email address was even, for a time, ‘Libertarian Blonde’.
So. Scroll back to the presidential race of ’04. The Libertarian candidate for president that year was a guy named Michael Badnarik. The Other Guys running that year were named George W. Bush and John Kerry. You may have heard of them. Extra points if you’ve heard of Badnarik.
The Child was in Middle School (note rare blackmail-quality photo above). Which was the peak of her Libertarian Phase. Which lasted about as long as her Blonde Phase.
Anyway. The Dude had been to some Libertarian Hoedown (where he actually met Badnarik) and brought home an official Michael Badnarik Libertarian for President bumper sticker.
Now, we live in New York City, which means we don’t do a whole heck of a lot of driving around. But we do have a car. And it does have bumpers. I vetoed the sticker-on-the-car-bumper idea (too hard to remove, I said). Then Dude Man wanted to prop it up in our apartment window, the window facing the street. Nope, we can’t do that, I said. Against coop rules (whew). So he gave the sticker to The Child, who proudly stuck it onto her school locker. (I’m sure her Upper East Side All-Girls School really loved that.)
That Fall, we were due for one of those meet-with-the-teacher-to-discuss-your-child’s-progress command performances. We’re loitering around the hallway outside the teacher’s office when I remark, “Oh look. There’s The Child’s locker.” (Only I used her actual name instead of The Child.) Dude goes, “How do you know that’s The Child’s locker? I don’t see her name on it anywhere.”
I point at the Badnarik sticker stuck to the front of said locker. And The Dude says, “That doesn’t mean it’s her locker. Lots of the kids here could be Badnarik supporters.”
Um. Sure. If you say so.
Well. I sure hope you survive the next few weeks of the Donald/Hillary and Sometimes Gary and Jill Show. See you soon with another (completely politics-free, I promise) anecdote.
New York City. October 2016
14 thoughts on “Libertarian Blonde”
I agree with you that voting for Jill or Gary is like throwing your vote away, but Gary really is a joke! Stopping by from the weekend blog share.
Yes, I didn’t even have to try very hard to make this post funny! Thx for stopping by xo
OK, I really need to do some reading up about this as at the moment, I don’t know a Libertarian is (except it sounds as though they like liberty and librarians) but until I do so, I have to comment that your daughter is stunning- in both pictures and the comment about knowing it was your daughters locker and the dudes complete denial that she may have been the only one with that sticker, made me snort! Thank you for joining the #weekendblogshare
Thanks, Hannah! I love that you are a snorter (!) And thank you for the lovely comments about The Child. She is a joy indeed. As for Libertarians, they basically believe in ‘small government’, which, as you can imagine, has its good and bad points. People here aren’t too wild about Good Ole Gary the J because he seems a bit dunderheaded. (Asking “What is A ‘Leppo'”, and not being able to name one foreign leader who he ‘likes’.) So, hmmmmm. But so nice to hear from you! xoxoxo
Yes. Johnson. My opinion only: he needs a serious MD neurological cognitive disability test like all the other aging candidates … But his VP, Bill Weld. Right accent. He may be Boston, but actually does have a sense of humor. Which may be needed.
I’ll second that sense of humor comment, Ellen! And I do agree that Boston Men are A-OK. Thanks for weighing in xoxo!
Poor Libertarians get a bad rap and nobody knows who they are. I’m too apolitical to discuss it any further. I would love to hear the The Child’s reaction to her picture being posted for all the world to see 😀 Hope she takes it well!
You must have Parent Radar! Not long after I posted this, The Child sent me a text: ‘this is funny, Mom. But could you make it clear that I am no longer a Libertarian?’ So, I did xoxo
If there was ever a year that the country needed a strong third party with a competent candidate…
I hear you, Bruce. And, trust me, The Dude couldn’t agree with you more!
My sympathies are with you Alice, for the Libertarian bent in your family (my son describes himself as a Libertarian as well) and for the retribution headed your way by The Child. I try not to be judgmental by how people look but when I look at Johnson, I see a goofball who is still thinking about the brawl last night at the hockey game.
Thank you, Judy. Yes, it can get a tad heated around here. I’m pretty sure The Child has straightened her Libertarian bent. (Just don’t tell The Dude)