How on earth did THIS happen?


“The Child is about to become The Bride”

I was all set to write a crabby-yet-funny post about Whippersnappers having the nerve to change my copy when I was a freelance writer and how annoying that was. But then this happened:

Ruby with pavee diamonds. And yes, he picked it out himself

So, heck with that! Maybe next week, if my feet are touching the ground by then and my fingers have recovered from hitting “love” on Facebook, like, nine zillion times in reply to the scads of congratulatory comments this news has inspired. (What the World needs now is you-know-what sweet you-know-what. Most definitely.)

The News. As announced on Instagram. Of course

One of the comments was from a Great Friend and “roommate” from those freelancing days. Dear Renee posted “Alice. How did this happen? I clearly remember you letting me feel her kick around in your tummy just yesterday.”

I hear you, Renee, I hear you.

First day of preschool. Just yesterday, in Mom Time. Oh — I could never get her to wear those amazing blue loafers after that. Sigh

A quick footnote on “letting me feel her kicking around in your tummy.” Renee was a Good Friend Indeed if I let her do that. One of my Pet Peeves When Pregnant was when people would pat my tummy to “feel the baby kicking” — without being expressly invited to do so. When this happened, I would reach over and pat their tummies. Touche.

Another shot of The Child from ten minutes ago

But yes. Renee is right. It’s pretty darned amazing that a person to whom I dispensed nourishment and bathed and dressed and diapered and burped and carried around hither and yon both inside and outside my “tummy” should now be (gasp) getting married. Now I know why people cry at weddings.

The Child. Taking The Plunge with her Dad years ago. They were jumping off the houseboat into Lake Carlyle. (Or is it Carlyle Lake?)

Quick note on weddings. I adore them. I honestly have never ever not had a fabulous time at a wedding. I even like those really long, really religious ones. (Yes, I’ve written of my Wedding Love, here in “I Do, I Do Really Like Weddings.” Read it and weep.)

The Child and her Beau have assured me that, yes, they are going to have one. A wedding, I mean. I can hardly wait. I wonder if they’ll let me wear my tiara.

Child and Beau looking gorgeous as all get out a couple of summers ago

Incidentally, everyone loves The Beau. He is Canadian and handsome and smart and sporty and loves adventure. He is the one The Child has been traveling around the country with in their Ford F350 with the camper shell on top.

Child and Beau the day they left on their RV Adventure

In fact, when The Happy Couple FaceTimed me to inform me of their Happy News, I remarked that everyone who is thinking of getting hitched should hitch up an RV and go live in it together for several months. Then — and only then — should they be allowed to get married. Ultimate Road Test for a relationship.

The Beau on a typical workday, tormented by The Child

In addition to the Patience of a Saint Test, The Beau has passed the Mom Test and the Dad Test and the Aunts and Uncles and Gramma Tests as well. In fact, he took time off work last fall so he could attend my mother’s 90th birthday celebration.

I need to wrap this up — I don’t want to miss my Jitney back to Amagansett; I was here briefly to supervise our couch delivery here at the Ken and Barbie House. Incidentally, guess how many times I’ve bought a couch? This would be Time #1. (You can read about that in “I Have Never Bought A Couch.“)

Gosh. The Child is going to be a Married Lady. No matter how happy I am, it’s a little hard to wrap my head around. So it’s nice seeing evidence like this that she is, in fact — and no doubt always will be — The Child.

Yup. She’s still a Cheddar-Goldfish-Lovin’ Child at heart

New York City. November 2020






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18 thoughts on “How on earth did THIS happen?

  1. Mazel tov! While I have enjoyed learning about The Child’s talents and adventures, I must admit I was taken aback by this abrupt announcement.

    It was abrupt to me and possibly to you too. I mean, you hadn’t written a lot about The Beau other than that they were on an adventure together, seemingly of unknown duration, purpose, destination, etc. I do love happy surprises like this, though, especially in the it can’t end too soon year 2020.

    It was also abrupt to me because it took The Evil Genius 7 years of dating, traveling and living with my older daughter in various places all over the country before HIS family told him he needed to put a ring on it! I always liked him but knew he was a keeper when he agreed to retain physical custody of the schizo-cat she’d adopted during one of her itinerant archeologist gigs.

    They wed just over a year ago, fortunately before the pandemic. I am now the proud grandparent of 3 grandcats. (She already had one before the crazy one. Her younger sister FINALLY acquired one to keep her company as she struggles and stresses through medical school). I am one of the few relations I know of that has not yet applied pressure to have them produce an actual grandchild. There’s still time and I’d just as soon they wait until we can all be safely in the same indoor space together! I trust you won’t be planning a “remote” wedding, either!

    • Mazel you right back! So glad we both have liaisons to celebrate! You are right; I didn’t write much about The Beau. Partly because I tend to write, um, semi-sarcastic things about the people I adore and did not want to scare him off, and partly because we (Dude Man and I) really liked/approved of this one and didn’t want to jinx it!

    • Yes indeedy, that Beau has gorgeous hair. They were in Vietnam once and were persuaded by a street stylist to chop their locks. She liked her bob; he wasn’t crazy about his modified mullet. Good thing hair grows (!)

  2. John Colledge

    Brilliant news. Just what we needed to ease the tension surrounding that other thing that’s happening in the US today. 🙂

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