“It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas”?

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‘Not so fast, Facebook Friends. Not so fast.’

I was all ready to write an amusing Memory Lane type tale about my first Real Summer Job (the kind that did not involve babysitting, but did involve the procurement of a Social Security Card), when I saw this on Facebook:

Posted on June 25. Exactly six months before Christmas. I get it, I get it. But I don’t want to play, OK?

So, excuse me, but the First Real Job at the Carlyle Union Banner story will just have to wait. Because (speaking of waiting) I plan to wait till at least after Thanksgiving to begin my own Countdown to Christmas. A “countdown” that will be “brutish and short”, if not “nasty” (sorry, Thomas Hobbes).

Those of you who have read my rants (er, pieces) for a while know that Thanksgiving — not Christmas — is my absolute A-Number-One Favorite Holiday. Christmas, with its obligatory gift-and-tip-giving and endless trapped-in-an-elevator playings of “Little Drummer Boy” doesn’t even come close. (For an amusing and non-crabby recounting of Five Big Ways Christmas can’t hold even a red cinnamon-scented candle to Thanksgiving, just click here.)

‘Little Children Forced to Greet Benevolent Uncles dressed as Scary Santas’ isn’t on my list, but probably should be

The other reason I’m not even close to being ready for a Countdown to Christmas is that I haven’t even begun my Countdown to the Fourth yet. And the Fourth of July is coming up this very next weekend. So I’d better get a wiggle on, as they say where I come from.

A former Christmas Tree. No filter, no decorations. Best of all, no snow

Yes, I’m planning a Fourth of July celebration. The Fourth is the Birthday of Our Nation, after all. Besides, planning for the Fourth is a firecrackery snap. We open our doors to a Girl Gang of The Child’s TwentySomething friends, and basically just stay out of their way.

Oh, there are menus to plan and food to buy. Which can get a bit tricky, being as how this Girl Gang is, shall we say, “health-conscious”. I have some who are fish-but-no-meat, others who are not-even-fish, and some, including The Child Herself, who is “off carbs”. Imagine the fun at the traditional Fourth Cookout of burgers and dogs. Half will eat the burgers but not the buns. And the other half? Well, I sure hope they like buns.

Holiday Shopping, Fourth of July edition. At least I don’t have to wrap any of this stuff

But hey. There are no decorations, no gifts (unless the TwentySomethings want to bring me a bottle or two of wine — hint hint), and no snow (unless you count the drifts of pollen covering every surface these days — bring your Zyrtec, Girls).

You won’t even have to pose for Holiday Photos wearing scratchy new clothes. In fact, clothes — except for a teeshirt thrown over a bathing suit — aren’t even required.

In fact, my idea of “dressing for dinner” on Fourth of July Weekend (or any summer weekend, for that matter) is to change from the shredded “everyday” cutoffs to the relatively-intact “dressy” cutoffs.

Actual summertime lap in Real Time (like this very minute), displaying actual Everyday Cutoffs

So. If you guessed that I haven’t given serious thought to beginning my Countdown to Christmas (sorry, Hallmark Folks and FB Friend Jayne), you’ve guessed right. But I do, in fact, need to get that wiggle on already with my Countdown to the Fourth. See you next week — on July 4, in fact, otherwise known as Blog Day (er, Tuesday).

Excuse me while I get crackin’ on my Countdown to the Fourth

Amagansett, New York. June 2017

8 thoughts on ““It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas”?

  1. Agreed! I get the excitement of Christmas, but not until AFTER (meaning the next day, not at 6pm) Thanksgiving– which happens to be my favorite holiday as well! I am also a big fan of the 4th– I can’t complain when I’m poolside in festive garb, drinking a couple adult beverages, eating snacks, and listening to “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue” by Toby Keith (Love that song!). Amiright?

    • Yes, my dear Patriot! You couldn’t be righter! Though my ‘festive garb’ will probably consist of a pair of red flipflos, a white teeshirt, and good ole American bluejeans. Have a bangup Fourth!

  2. I have heard people say that Thanksgiving is their favorite holiday, too, Alice. Very little disappointment in that holiday unless you have nowhere to go and crave turkey. Happy 4th to you and your family. My cut-offs don’t hold a Roman candle to yours – I will have shred mine.

  3. Cecilia

    I <3 the Fourth also. Plan on bedecking and bedazzling my front yard tomorrow (I do like to wait until the Wednesday before the 4th) with Flags-o-Plenty. Also will drape myself out of my bedroom window to hook on the bunting, if I can remember how to hook it up under the air conditioner, that is…
    Happy 4th, Alice!

    • Oh wow. Bunting! You really know how to rock the Fourth, Cecilia! I am planning to buy a Carvel Cake in the Fourth’s honor. After all, it IS the Birthday of our Nation, after all.

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